Hi, my name is Sarah. And I feel called to create and share the love of Jesus. I don't really know what that looks like in terms of a career or day to day life. I have been trying to figure this out for years now but of one thing I am sure: God is real, good, and faithful. And He loves me well.
I am sitting in my room. The room over our garage that for years as children, my siblings and I came to lovingly call the playroom. A place where a futon bed can become a wrestling ring. A place where our dolls and action figures came to life. I place where we watched our VHS movies over and over. Where I could get messy with all my art supplies. A place where we could do anything. Where we played. And the best part, this playroom is at our river house in the Northern Neck in Virginia. This land is where I feel more anchored to than any other in the entire world. The place that I ache for whenever I travel. The place where dolphins come in to the cove. Where the light dances like fairies on the water. Where the moss massages my feet as I imagine my next adventure. Where I can read all day on a hammock and have no cares. A place to rest. A place to pray.
Don't get me wrong--there have been plenty of troubles here too. Fighting, divorce, heartbreak, betrayal, and more. Those don't seem to stick when I'm here. It's my river and my green grass and my trees and my family; and it's my playroom. For now at least. You see I am all grown up now. I'm not the almost 9 year old that first saw the magical river house years ago. Through a series of events and through my own personal choice, I moved in with my mom (and my awesome sister). And I am taking a risk.
I am going to make art. And I am living and playing in this playroom. And I am praying that I glorify God through my choices and actions.
Art for me is how God revealed himself to me. Through giving me a medium for healing and expression, He blessed me with a ready heart to hear his message. The Lord is so patient and kind towards me in giving me time to learn to trust Him and to heal from the sorrows that life brings. He taught me about the poison of my pride and the importance of surrendering all to Him. I think I learn all I can about His grace and truth; and then suddenly my understanding is deepened even more. I'm learning that painting is a form of meditation and prayer. That creating is me as a child on earth trying to be like my Father in heaven. That I have a purpose, and God has a plan for me.
Now, I want to tell you that everything is going well. That my life is organized well, that my walk with the Lord is more of a happy skip, and that my playroom is the epitome of cool. The truth is it's a mess. My life is messy. So in the interest of vulnerability and accountability, I'm going to come as I am. And here I am. A mess. An underpainting? A sketch? A preparation? I'm not sure of anything right now, except, Lord willing, I am going to commit myself to creating in the new year. To allow myself to fly or fall.
To allow beauty to do its thing.
To be content in all circumstances.
To glorify the Lord.
That is my prayer.
“I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me.”― C.S. Lewis
And I would like to ask you for prayer now. Would you pray for me? That I would be well, energized, and ready for whatever is the next step?
Here is a manifesto I wrote 4 years ago on a whim-- and I like it. It seems like something my 9 year old self would have loved to hear from post college Sarah. And current Sarah wants to perfect the wording and silliness, but she is fighting to just let it go and share as it is. For now.
“Art is when you hear a knocking from your soul, and you answer.” ―Star Richés
I believe in art that speaks truth to the maker and the onlooker. Not just one but a myriad of truths under a common truth umbrella cast up by the artist in the storm of ideas. I am for art that rains down on that umbrella to create tension and rhythm and maybe even get the little truths wet. I am for an art that would condone the use of that metaphor in describing what art is.
I believe in art that cannot be fenced in by some intellectual high-roller. An art that cannot be simply defined within a dictionary context. Something like a feeling, a discussion, a purposeful sentiment on the crossroads of craftsmanship, skills, and expression.
I am for an art that creates relationships, comedy, sincerity, rawness, authenticity, and/or catalysts of enduring thought and feeling.
I am for an art that is a whole package delivered. Not just the prize inside, but the cardboard box and the postage stamp and packing peanuts and the traveling and the messenger.
I am for an art that emphasizes the imagination and the reality; and an art that forges a compromise between the two.
Thanks for reading, and I look forward to sharing more of my messy progress with you!